Several things have happened to me in the past, what? week that I haven't posted?
Let's Tarantino it:
I hate to start off my chain of events on such a bad note, but CHRISTIANS piss me off. And, yes, I understand that I there is a potential riot here... but it needed to be said. My sister goes to church on wednesdays and I always drop her off and pick her up, no problem! What bothers me is she never waits for me outside so I have to walk into this church where there's always about fifty kids running around screaming and mother's clutching their babies to their bosom as I nonchalantly walk by. It's an outrage! The stress of the day without knitting causes me to get edgy, not to mention Nikki had just slammed the phone down on me when I told her to get a ride from someone else. So, by the time I grab Nikki's arm and drag her out of there, I'm cursing up a storm... "I always fucking tell you to wait outside, I'm so sick of the bullshit I have to deal with when it comes to picking you up, don't ever hang up on me like that..." etc. and all this while I'm walking towards my car in the dark of the street lamps.
So this straight up Summer's Eve Douche interrupts me and screams across,
"HEY! DO YOU PRAY WITH THAT MOUTH?"
me, "NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR OPINION, BUT I DON'T GO TO CHURCH"
lame guy, "oh well, honey, you need to!"
me, "HEY WELL, IF I WANTED YOUR OPINION - I'D ASK FOR IT"
lame guy, "well god bless you."
This guy! Like he knows me!
Then earlier today, I was pretty pissy to begin with because we hadn't sold anything for 3 days. THEN! BAM! Someone randomly decided to spend three thousand bucks on like four items. Because of this, my old man wasn't on my back all day, it was flippin' sweet.
I love to scare my ladies and I'm really living off the suspense. Shit is going down on Sunday afternoon. I'm knitting some baby socks in relation to the Sunday noon (such a RANDOM hint, you would never guess it) -- I only have my shitty camera phone, but here's a picture!
AND! Miss Becky gave me three balls of NORO transitions yarn I've been wanting for so long. I'm terrified to even look at anything that isn't mine for too long at the shop. You'll know my fears are valid, once you see the awesome basket she gave me them in.
What a wonderful woman, I swear. I will miss her so much when I'm gone.
My mother loved her hat!!!
Look at those flawless teeth - it's like you can't even tell she's from another country!
What a great couple of days -- from what I remember.
I love listening to sexy music when I write in my blog, Ratatat is no exception.
2 comments:
I agree with your post one hundred percent. There is a vast difference between a Christian and a spiritual person. Religion is the root of all evil, the oppressor of women, etc. I have a co-worker whom I fuck with on a regular basis. For example, I told him G-d cheats at gambling. Just read the Book of Job.
I love how you begin a post with a song. Can I plagarize your idea?
And why are you surpirsed your mom has nice teeth? Is she from England?
She's from the philippines... good lord, the teeth there! Worse than england, that's for sure!
You're more than welcome to plagiarize my idea. In fact, I insist upon it!
Nikki always talks about church and god. One time I blurted out that she was retarded and that I couldn't trust anything she says because she's plagued by her evil imaginary friend, "God".
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