Saturday, December 29, 2007

ode to a french man

sea lion woman by feist

what a man!

today was excellent, the ladies and i all met at the coffee bean, had lunch at royal bakery, and went to anacapa's for a while.

i had to leave all early because my boyfriend told me to come home and talk to him, to which i obliged.

i truly love my man. look at this morning face!


moonman


you can't beat that, not one bit. when we break up - i will have to find another french man, no question.

also, he asked me to marry him this afternoon. i said no, of course... but in 5 years, if he's still around? forget about it!
so now he calls me his fiancée, and i call him my french man.

i think that's a good enough excuse for my "get up and go" behaviour today.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Zig Zags and Half Tone Apples

Animal Collective - "Leaf House"

Oh lord! It's been a long time coming!

I have so much to tell you!




I finally finished my Squirrely Swedish Mittens and I couldn't be more happy!

I used a Temple Turquoise and Blue Blood Red yarn by Wildfoote.


IT SNOWED IN PORTLAND! of course, I had just smoked a bowl of "TOBACCO" and this guy next to me was like,

"where are you from?"
"uhhhh... fucking like... somewhere that it doesn't FALL FROM THE SKY"

he LITERALLY just backed away from me slowly and didn't say anything. i felt weird and awkward for about TWO SECONDS and then marveled at how the sky was falling right on my eyelashes. it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.


As per Miss Becky's request, I am showing you pictures of my drawing class midterm. It's about 2 feet wide and 3 feet tall.

(DISCLAIMER:this is a joke, i didn't really make pot brownies nor do i smoke weed. it's bad for you and puts holes in your brains. please do not smoke or ingest weed unless you bought it from reputable sources through the state appointed government regulated medical marijuana program located in states like California or Oregon! thanks!)

Speaking of WEED! I went home for Thanksgiving and before I did i ate two FAT FUDGY HOME COOKED BROWNIES with about a dub of pot in it. genius! Here's my recipe:

What You'll Need:

- 6 squares unsweetened chocolate
- 3/4 cup unsalted butter (12 tablespoons or a stick and a half)
- 2 cups sugar
- 3 eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup unbleached all purpose flour
- 1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
- 1/8 oz weed (optional!)
(for you dime baggers, that's 4 ounces... or 4 dimes!)

Take the butter and put it in a small saucier pan over low heat, you want the butter to froth a little, but make sure it's a deep enough pan so the butter doesn't get too hot AND doesn't brown too much (although browning the butter just a bit does provide an overall nutty taste in the brownies - but remember, browning it too much means BURNT!)

PREHEAT YOUR OVEN TO 325!!!

now you're going to have to crush the weed to make sure all the leaves and crystals and hairs have a chance to intermingle with the butter evenly. i have what's called a Chromium Crusher which is essentially a "tobacco grinder" sold at any head shop, or if you are a fellow venturian, Salzer's! If you don't have a "bud buster", you can ALWAYS use your food processor - but remember, what's left in the bowl is gonna be left OUT of your brownies.

now that the butter is melted down with a bit of froth, go ahead and add the weed.

(i know what you're thinking, sheesh! waste an 1/8th? but this is a great high, and it utilizes ALL of the weed, including the stems which you don't really want to smoke anyway because it's super harsh on the throat... not to mention, ingesting the weed doesn't give you red eyes or the delightfully hilarious but offensive odor. ANOTHER THING, ingesting weed is great for your lungs which can super suffer from long term smoking use, even with a bong or water pipe! so just TRY it for pete's sake! if you DON'T like them, they make excellent and hilarious all-encompassing holiday presents for your in-laws, especially if they don't know what's in them..)

let the weed and the butter steep for about half an hour to really let it all come together. the longer it stays on the heat, the more thc will be released... like i said though, be careful about burning it. then strain the butter into a glass bowl that fits into a saucier but doesn't touch the bottom of the pan. (these brownies will be much better than the ones you had in high school where some nobody just dumped a bag of weed into some box brownies - these are gonna be straight DANKENSTEIN)

alright!!! so, now you will take 6 squares of unsweetened chocolate in a glass (or stainless steel) bowl over an inch of water in a sauce pan. this is called double boiling! yay! new techniques!

mix the chocolate and the butter together until they are nice and melty and warmy and gooey. do not eat this! it's going to be super yummy, but we need it! (maybe you can dip a finger or two in it)

Now stir the sugar into the chocolate until it is well blended and take the chocolate OFF the heat.

mix your eggs together with a fork (not a whisk because you might add too much air to the mixture) and do a TEMPER on the eggs.

this is when you add a little bit of the warm chocolate to the eggs that you've whisked so that it doesn't cook the eggs too quickly. you want to just bring them up to temperature by gradually adding about a 1/4 of a cup of chocolate at a time (nobody wants chocolate scrambled eggs... maybe). once you have about a full cup of chocolate mixed into the eggs, NOW you can add the egg/chocolate mixture to the original double boiling bowl.

add the vanilla and take the bowl onto the counter.

stir in your flour and your nuts (making sure not to OVERMIX) and place the batter in a greased 9x13 glass baking dish. bake for 30 minutes!

et voila!

i know it SEEMS like a lot of work, but it's really not -- essentially, the recipe seemed so long because of all the added crap about how to do things you probably already knew!

these brownies should be unfuzzy for a couple weeks in a ziplock bag in the fridge, although in my house they never keep that long...

Fudgey, Crispy, Crunchy, Dense, and Chocolatey! Just the way mama made them.

anyway, i love you guys and really consider making a dish that's fun for the whole family... pot brownies! an age old and often neglected tradition.

Laura Anne

p.s.
NEW HAIR, NEW PLUGS, NEW JACKET! loves it!!!